Surviving but Trusting in God

I turned in my last paper with a sigh of relief knowing that I would be done until Monday. It didn't take long for me to wake up the next morning realizing that I needed to order a textbook and complete some assigned readings before the next class.

Hi friends, I know it's been a while. I've been wanting to write more and not just for school. It's been more difficult than expected to keep up with my program. Last week, I had finals for my classes (I'm on the quarter system). While I had moments of tears, I also felt surprisingly calm because I knew that I was almost done. While I enjoyed Saturday night not thinking about assignments, I should have read the syllabus that stated reading was due before class.

There's really no break until Christmas.

This has been typical so far for grad school. I'm quickly finding that I'm spending almost all my spare time studying, researching articles, and writing lengthy papers. Not to mention, joining Zoom for classes in the evenings. It's definitely been a challenge. If I’m not working on assignments, I’m probably resting or teaching some dance classes. But, as I've learned over the years, by God's strength, I'm up for any challenge. 

Thankfully now I realized it's not impossible to struggle with chronic pain and be in a full-time grad program. There is some flexiblity though as I continue moving forward. There were definitely some moments where I felt unsure about grad school. About week five I started having second thoughts about my decision. I wasn't alone in that. Every friend, person I talk to, even those in their field all have felt the same way at some point during their program. 

Grad school is hard. It's intense when you try to process all of the information quickly. It's also wondeful to be moving forward in this season. And I'm finding that I generally enjoy being a student. I’m blessed though with wonderful support and advice from family, friends, and mentors. I do love being a student though even as my pace may be slow.  

My hope is to continue writing on the side and sharing some encouragement when I'm able. I miss writing that's not school related. I will say though that I've been journaling regularly. It's helped me to process all of the changes and chaos in this season. I've been writing more over the last few months than I have done in the past years.

Least to say, I know the next eight weeks will probably be intense with my program. I think now I'm ready for it. The first quarter felt overwhelming and too much physically and mentally. I will say for anyone out there who's continuing with school, just keep taking one day at a time. That's what everyone else around me was sharing. Also, try to get out when you can even if it's meeting up with a friend while you are studying or taking a short walk. I'm learning that grad school is a sacrifice. I'm barely able to do anything else.

At the moment I'm just trying to survive what often feels too overwhelming and trusting that God will guide me through. It feels too overwhelming because it's an adjustment, but overtime it should feel a little better. In only a few short weeks, I'm already starting to gain the necessary knowledge and skills for future counseling. What a blessing.

What have you been learning in this season?