Trust the Process - Sometimes Dreams Crumble

Last year, I was taking an online course for Child Life. Now, I'm applying for graduate school. So much has changed.

I recently wrote a blog post for my friend Sara, where I shared briefly of the struggles I've been facing. It's hard to let a dream go, especially one that I've held onto since I was a teenager.

Honestly, there have been movements of tears as it's now how I wanted to start the year. I thought that I would be finalizing an application for potential internships, not starting over and figuring out a different career.

In some ways, it feels like I wasted the last few years. I graduated with a B.A. in psychology, but only because of my dream to be a child life specialist. I thought God was leading me to a field that would help patients and families faced with illness. I completed all of the right courses, volunteered with kids, had support from instructors and professionals in this field, but it wasn't enough.

It finally dawned on me in January that the physical requirements would be more than I can handle. And it was discouraging to go home after just touring a local hospital for a volunteer position. I finally came to terms with the fact that I'm not getting any better.

But, I held in all of my emotions during the orientation and tour. I knew deep down that if I wasn't physically able to volunteer for a few hours a week, an internship about 40 hours a week would be impossible.

Do you ever find yourself in similar circumstances? Maybe you held onto this dream for the future, but watched it crumble in only a few minutes. That's what it's felt like the past few weeks.

Thankfully though, I've had a lot of support and encouragement. I quickly began researching other potential careers, job opportunities. And also reached out to some of the professors that were there for me in undergrad. My favorite professor (who was also my advior) quickly started helping me. We talked about options and what my body was capable of doing.

I'm reminded in this season to continue trusting the process. God has already brought me so far. From being diagnosed, navigating college with a disability, and continuing to work. He's brought along the right people to encourage me on my journey. And has continued to open up other doors as other ones are closing.

This isn't what I had in mind going into 2026. But, at least I know that I thrive on learning. If graduate school does happen, I already know that I enjoyed being a student. So maybe more years of continued education and training won't be so bad.

If you are wondering what I'm thinking for a degree. Well, that's a story for another day. And hopefully one to be shared soon.

To anyone finding themselves in a similar season, keep trusting in God's timing. Trust that you have to go through seasons of discouragement and questioning before you get a glimpse of another open door. And don't forget to reach out when you help.