I wanted to share with you a post I wrote last year. But, similar to other posts, I kept it a draft and wasn't ready for others to read it. Living with constant pain is so hard. I have learned that some of the most meaningful messages come from the moments of suffering. And as we are in a season of reflecting on the death and resurrection of Christ, I hope this will encourage you to remember that Jesus is enough.
Written - May 25th, 2021
In these past few weeks, I have felt questions fill my head on how to continue forward with a progression of pain. Have you experienced this?
Have you dug deeper into scripture and read how Jesus healed those who were sick and in pain? Maybe you have asked yourself, "why am I not healed?"
As someone living with a progressive neuromuscular disease, I can relate to feeling discouraged about why I'm living a life filled with chronic pain and fatigue. Even though Jesus has healed many, this pain may never leave my body.
But is that enough? Is Jesus enough? You may be thinking that even though I'm walking through every day in pain, I'm still receiving support from family and friends. You may mention that Jesus is always there and loves me. And you would be right.
For some, like me, it's hard to keep fighting. It's hard not to feel discouraged or upset because the symptoms are not better.
Even with all of this, I still feel as if Jesus is asking me this question "Am I enough?" Three years ago, I would not have been ready to answer this. The pain that soon went from mild to severe is still getting to me. But, I know in my heart, the answer is yes.
Jesus Is Enough
Even with this pain, our Savior is enough. He is enough because of his steadfast love and grace for us. We are not deserving of this, but that does not matter. Just as a parent shows love towards a child, our Father pours out his love for us. He cared so deeply about each one of us.
Through this death on the cross came a sacrifice. I cannot picture the amount of suffering and pain Jesus went through for all of us. To carry the burden and sins even though we are not deserving. To be forgiven for all of our mistakes is a gift.
And with this gift comes a sacrifice. Remember, we live in a world full of sickness and darkness. Everyone some point in time, will endure suffering. Some through grief over a loved one, and others sickness. I live with chronic pain and fatigue. This is my journey with suffering.
Life Even In Suffering
Last month, the Lord blessed me with an opportunity to share more of my testimony of pain and suffering. Part of what I shared is about the path I had to choose. When I was at my darkest point soon after my diagnosis, I wanted to give up. Not only with dance but with the life God had for me. This was because I believed these lies that came from the enemy. The enemy wanted me to give up on the Lord.
You see friends, I have lived my life in faith, and when everything felt like it collapsed over me, I didn't know how to continue going. I felt stuck in my pain and suffering. In those moments, I needed to make a choice.
One road was a path that would lead me to walk away from my faith, but I still would be suffering in pain and depression. Or I could walk in faith, rely on God's strength, and continue to live in pain, but remember that He has a plan for me.
I'm sure you know the answer. I'm still living my life for Christ. Is it easy? No, but in every moment in this pain, only God knows the beauty in store for me. This pain I'm living could be how He uses me to bring others to Christ. Without this suffering, I'm not sure I would be living out my faith as much.
Reflection
I hope that you believe Jesus is enough. He loves and cares for you. At this moment, you may be experiencing a great deal of pain and loss, but Jesus is right there beside you. I hope you will take some moments to pray and remember His everlasting love for you.