Last week, I went to a lovely Friendsgiving, the first I attended in a few years.
As I engaged in conversations, I started to reflect on how much God blessed me with such wonderful communities and friendships. Good friendships.
Because it wasn't always that way, as someone living with health challenges. I've struggled with the fact that I say "no" more times than "yes." It's not that I don't want to attend a friend's party or even meet up on weekends. But, there are many factors that I have to consider. What am I doing earlier that day? Will I have enough energy to drive home? And is it too much when my work exhausts me both physically (because of my pain and fatigue levels) and mentally?
For years, I wasn't good at balancing social interactions and my normal schedule and health. So I would overdo it and then end up saying no to things that I generally wanted to say yes to.
A couple of years ago, I ended up sick and not able to attend a Friendsgiving. That was a disappointing day as it became a tradition that I looked forward to every year. It was a reminder that once again my health kept me from something that I didn't want to miss. I'm sure we all have felt that way.
Lately, my body has been weary. The fatigue has continued to linger throughout each day, my body just pushing through until I can't do anymore. I hit my limit at Friendsgiving. After several full days of work and events, I wasn't sure I could go to anything else. As, I was sitting at the table, eating delicious food, I began noticing how weak my body felt. I knew that I needed to drive home so around an hour after the meal, I went home. My friends understood and were grateful that I came.
And sometimes it's what I have to do. Most don't see how fatigued I am. My focus starts to change. My voice gets quieter, but it's usually that way when around other people. Sometimes eating more helps. More often than not, when I feel this way, it's better that I rest.
Thanksgiving was and is a beautiful time to be reflecting on thankfulness. How can we be grateful when our body is fighting to make it through the day? Or when we have to rest before and after meeting up with friends? How can we be thankful when we struggle to be independent? Or work because of the fatigue?
Being thankful doesn't mean that we don't struggle. As imperfect people, we are all bound to face some form of suffering and pain. But, we can choose to be grateful for the small things that God has blessed us with. I will start. For me, it's been the unexpected conversations and opporunties to deepen friendships. I also have cherished the momements in the evenings to work on embroidery projects. I love using my hands to make beautiful gifts.
What are you thankful for in this season? Let's not just wait until the next Thanksgiving Day to share.
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